What's REALLY Scary?

I'm about twenty pages into the first draft of my untitled slasher movie and since it's getting closer to Halloween I thought I'd explore what people (namely me) find truly scary. There are a metric ton of horror movies out there but how many of them do you still think about days, months, even years later? For me it's not many, but there certainly are a few that will stick with me for the long haul.

It was this line of thinking that got me wondering exactly WHY they were so scary, what about them when compared to other horror movies made them actually frighten me? Before I get into what's scary, let me first go over what isn't scary, and why.

Vampire movies are out. The sheer coolness of becoming a vampire (of the non-Nosferatu variety) far outweighs the scariness they bring. Look at most vampire movies... they're out there living the high life. They live in mansions, are very wealthy, go out partying. Heck, I think being a vampire would be tops so long as you don't have some self-righteous jerk off chasing you around with a silver stake or something. Look at Blade, Underworld... heck even Bram Stoker's Dracula lived in a castle. You get to stay young forever and do your thing. Even an episode of Sliders had vampires that started bands through the ages, were famous for a few years, would fade away and come back as a new genre. How fun is that! Once again though, Tommy Chong played a guy that just had to kill them. When will people learn? If there are any vampires reading this, come turn me, I need a few hundred years to hone my craft and I'm more of a night person anyway.

Zombies aren't scary either. The only idea frightening about them is the idea that there are so many and there are more of them every day. A frightening situation, sure, but the lone zombie is as threatening as a nursing home patient. It's when there are ten thousand of them between you and what you have to do that you worry. If you wander into one, push it over and go on your merry way. For the record, running zombies aren't "real" zombie. When you're dead you're all messed up, come on, you don't have the coordination anymore to run around. They're scarier, sure, but they still go down easy. Oh, and "28 Days Later" people are infected with a disease, they aren't zombies, it's not a zombie movie, it's an apocalyptic thriller, dammit. Crazy bastards running after you is pretty damn scary, infected or not.

Werewolves. Mmm... nah. A silver bullet solves your problem and they only come out for 3 days a month if it isn't cloudy (except in An American Werewolf in Paris with that weird drug. And I think Underworld... maybe. I can't remember). They're just big, angry dogs. I like the method of dealing with them introduced in Big Fish, just play fetch.

Slasher movies aren't scary. I know I'm writing one but I personally think they're not all that scary, which is why they generally go for the BOO scares as opposed to instilling fear. I know there are a lot of people that think getting chased/stalked is very scary but that's only because someone can chase or stalk you in real life. Which is scary, yes, but if someone in a Halloween/hockey mask is wandering after me without running, I'll hop in the car, go to the airport and move to Belgium. Problem solved.

Scientifically reanimated corpses (i.e. Frankenstein) ... just no. Plus if you read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein all that damn monster does is talk talk talk. Rip some heads off! The creatures from Re-Animator were kind of creepy, not necessarily scary though. Frankenhooker is also a good one. No scary though. Supercrack is kind of scary, but that's neither here nor there.

So what's actually scary?

The unknown is scary. I know that sounds kind of vague but stick with me here. Things we do not understand, cannot comprehend, or things that could happen in real life SOMEHOW are the kind of things that are actually scary. There are a few ways to narrow this down:

Religion. Yes, religion is a mainstay and source of comfort for many, but what about the dark side of religion? Pazuzu, the demon in The Exorcist is a prime example of this. He was able to infiltrate a perfectly nice family and cause multiple deaths, psychological terror, strange telekinetic happenings all within the body of a twelve year old girl. What's scary is that exorcisms were performed all over the world. I don't know what they entailed or what was happening, but the idea of the darker side of religion is kind of scary. For something more fanciful there is of course Constantine, but on the whole, religion is a scary thing. I'll avoid that obvious pitfall of what religion causes normal people to do in real life and move on to the next example.

The Supernatural. Gauge in Pet Sematary, the house in The Haunting, that chick in the corner on the ceiling in The Grudge. They are all scary because we do not understand them. Gauge was the spirit of the Wendigo (or possibly the returned vengeful spirit of the wife's sister, but I'm sticking with the ancient Indian evil spirit, the Wendigo!) killing fully grown, capable adults in the body of a not even two year old child with Achilles' tendon cutting terror. That, to me, is VERY scary. A haunted house is scary because you don't know what to expect. You know something is in there, but have no idea what there is. That's why people like adventuring in real life to abandoned places, going into something completely unknown is a thrill. A place that seems perfectly normal today, if left alone for a few years, suddenly takes on a foreboding presence. As for supernatural creatures, such as the girl from The Ring or the girl from The Grudge... they are scary because they do not have to obey the laws of this world. They have their own agenda, popping out of televisions, sitting the corner of the ceiling, coming and going at random. Even the tall man from Phantasm has that unknown element to him because you have no idea why he's doing what he's doing or what exactly is on the other side of his portal.

To be honest, the questions that "the unknown" bring up are questions that you do not want to find out the answer to. Poltergeist, House on Haunted Hill, Pulse, House... they're all creepy because you can't figure out the what, the why, or the how. The unknown throws things at you from every direction with no rhyme or reason and there's nothing you can do about it. To get to the heart of the matter, it's the loss of control and reasoning that really drive people over the edge. You can deal with vampires, werewolves, slashers, Frankenstein and zombies because they're "real" ... aside from the ghostbusters, how the hell do you stop something that doesn't exist?

Sorry to end on a question, but I'd like to hear some answers. E-mail is on the right (or leave a comment).