What's REALLY Scary?

I'm about twenty pages into the first draft of my untitled slasher movie and since it's getting closer to Halloween I thought I'd explore what people (namely me) find truly scary. There are a metric ton of horror movies out there but how many of them do you still think about days, months, even years later? For me it's not many, but there certainly are a few that will stick with me for the long haul.

It was this line of thinking that got me wondering exactly WHY they were so scary, what about them when compared to other horror movies made them actually frighten me? Before I get into what's scary, let me first go over what isn't scary, and why.

Vampire movies are out. The sheer coolness of becoming a vampire (of the non-Nosferatu variety) far outweighs the scariness they bring. Look at most vampire movies... they're out there living the high life. They live in mansions, are very wealthy, go out partying. Heck, I think being a vampire would be tops so long as you don't have some self-righteous jerk off chasing you around with a silver stake or something. Look at Blade, Underworld... heck even Bram Stoker's Dracula lived in a castle. You get to stay young forever and do your thing. Even an episode of Sliders had vampires that started bands through the ages, were famous for a few years, would fade away and come back as a new genre. How fun is that! Once again though, Tommy Chong played a guy that just had to kill them. When will people learn? If there are any vampires reading this, come turn me, I need a few hundred years to hone my craft and I'm more of a night person anyway.

Zombies aren't scary either. The only idea frightening about them is the idea that there are so many and there are more of them every day. A frightening situation, sure, but the lone zombie is as threatening as a nursing home patient. It's when there are ten thousand of them between you and what you have to do that you worry. If you wander into one, push it over and go on your merry way. For the record, running zombies aren't "real" zombie. When you're dead you're all messed up, come on, you don't have the coordination anymore to run around. They're scarier, sure, but they still go down easy. Oh, and "28 Days Later" people are infected with a disease, they aren't zombies, it's not a zombie movie, it's an apocalyptic thriller, dammit. Crazy bastards running after you is pretty damn scary, infected or not.

Werewolves. Mmm... nah. A silver bullet solves your problem and they only come out for 3 days a month if it isn't cloudy (except in An American Werewolf in Paris with that weird drug. And I think Underworld... maybe. I can't remember). They're just big, angry dogs. I like the method of dealing with them introduced in Big Fish, just play fetch.

Slasher movies aren't scary. I know I'm writing one but I personally think they're not all that scary, which is why they generally go for the BOO scares as opposed to instilling fear. I know there are a lot of people that think getting chased/stalked is very scary but that's only because someone can chase or stalk you in real life. Which is scary, yes, but if someone in a Halloween/hockey mask is wandering after me without running, I'll hop in the car, go to the airport and move to Belgium. Problem solved.

Scientifically reanimated corpses (i.e. Frankenstein) ... just no. Plus if you read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein all that damn monster does is talk talk talk. Rip some heads off! The creatures from Re-Animator were kind of creepy, not necessarily scary though. Frankenhooker is also a good one. No scary though. Supercrack is kind of scary, but that's neither here nor there.

So what's actually scary?

The unknown is scary. I know that sounds kind of vague but stick with me here. Things we do not understand, cannot comprehend, or things that could happen in real life SOMEHOW are the kind of things that are actually scary. There are a few ways to narrow this down:

Religion. Yes, religion is a mainstay and source of comfort for many, but what about the dark side of religion? Pazuzu, the demon in The Exorcist is a prime example of this. He was able to infiltrate a perfectly nice family and cause multiple deaths, psychological terror, strange telekinetic happenings all within the body of a twelve year old girl. What's scary is that exorcisms were performed all over the world. I don't know what they entailed or what was happening, but the idea of the darker side of religion is kind of scary. For something more fanciful there is of course Constantine, but on the whole, religion is a scary thing. I'll avoid that obvious pitfall of what religion causes normal people to do in real life and move on to the next example.

The Supernatural. Gauge in Pet Sematary, the house in The Haunting, that chick in the corner on the ceiling in The Grudge. They are all scary because we do not understand them. Gauge was the spirit of the Wendigo (or possibly the returned vengeful spirit of the wife's sister, but I'm sticking with the ancient Indian evil spirit, the Wendigo!) killing fully grown, capable adults in the body of a not even two year old child with Achilles' tendon cutting terror. That, to me, is VERY scary. A haunted house is scary because you don't know what to expect. You know something is in there, but have no idea what there is. That's why people like adventuring in real life to abandoned places, going into something completely unknown is a thrill. A place that seems perfectly normal today, if left alone for a few years, suddenly takes on a foreboding presence. As for supernatural creatures, such as the girl from The Ring or the girl from The Grudge... they are scary because they do not have to obey the laws of this world. They have their own agenda, popping out of televisions, sitting the corner of the ceiling, coming and going at random. Even the tall man from Phantasm has that unknown element to him because you have no idea why he's doing what he's doing or what exactly is on the other side of his portal.

To be honest, the questions that "the unknown" bring up are questions that you do not want to find out the answer to. Poltergeist, House on Haunted Hill, Pulse, House... they're all creepy because you can't figure out the what, the why, or the how. The unknown throws things at you from every direction with no rhyme or reason and there's nothing you can do about it. To get to the heart of the matter, it's the loss of control and reasoning that really drive people over the edge. You can deal with vampires, werewolves, slashers, Frankenstein and zombies because they're "real" ... aside from the ghostbusters, how the hell do you stop something that doesn't exist?

Sorry to end on a question, but I'd like to hear some answers. E-mail is on the right (or leave a comment).

Horror Movie Dialo-- Did you hear that? I'll be right back

The Scream trilogy turned the slasher/horror genre on its ear by being a slasher movie that was aware of how stupid everyone sounded in slasher films. Aside from reciting the rules, etc. it had a line that really stuck out to me, said by the killer to Randy (Jamie Kennedy), "Never say "who's there?" Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something."

In the Pre-Scream days the slasher genre had pretty formulaic dialogue. Before the killing started everyone would have typical vapid teenager dialogue that really didn't reveal anything about their characters or go anywhere, then, once the killing started it would degrade into a series of "No!" "Ahhh!" "Please don't!" and "Die you son of a bitch!" or very close facsimile. Nobody was allowed to know what was really happening until it was too late, they never ran away correctly and frankly, you were kind of glad to see them go. The Post-Scream environment brings about an entirely different type of slasher film. Of course pickings have been slim since then but it added the idea that characters could fight back and defend themselves for the whole movie (not just the end), can run away and stay away, can get the police involved early and can be fully aware of what has happened, what is happening, and what needs to be done. There are even adults involved!

Scream had characters with back stories, complex interpersonal relationships, changing relationships, moods, intelligence, ingenuity and semi-rational behavior. No longer was a character subject to summary execution, they had a fighting chance! Of course most of the cast got killed off anyway simply because it's cheaper to higher different people in the sequel, but hey, they had a fighting chance. Scream also introduced a vulnerable killer but of course that's been addressed already.

The slasher movie today, in my opinion, needs a healthy mix of the pre and post Scream dialogue conventions. Characters shouldn't be blissfully unaware that something is wrong while they hump things but they also shouldn't ban together with Uzis to take out the killer. There has to be a happy medium in there between the two. One has to be aware that each slasher franchise does what it does and does it right, it's up to the writer of a new film (such as myself) to find the true voice of the characters, to give them their personality.

Dimensionality has been discussed previously so we can focus primarily on what the characters are talking about. Normally in a horror film it's sex, sex related things, bad jokes, juvenile pranks... basically anything that goes in one ear and out the other. There are no profound discussions in horror films simply because you can't kill a character that an audience perceives as intelligent as them (or god forbid more intelligent) because in that situation, they would know EXACTLY what to do. So it becomes almost commonplace that any character that has a well developed personality can't die. Scream of course, once again, threw this out the window with the death of Randy and the rest of the crew (in the first film anyway), but I'm speaking in general terms.

So, it has become my own personal mission to avoid the pitfalls of generic horror movie dialogue. I'm not going to have characters investigate anything, they aren't going to be pretty faces with empty heads nor are they going to go look for anyone else. Of course now that I've gotten rid of every conventional thing for them to talk about they are going to have actual conversations. They're not going to discuss existentialism in Bolshevik Russia or anything, but they can't simply talk about screwing either. Some sort of happy medium... which is going to be the hard part of the story. My treatment is finished and the story is perfectly worked out, now I have to start the actual writing and for the first time consider what these characters are going to say.

That's what first drafts are for though, and there's always the mainstay of reading a line out loud to see if it sounds like something a person would say. I also have to watch out for all the characters sounding the same. They're all an extension of myself in some way, it's just a matter or having them draw from different things to make them truly unique. Then again I'm going to be killing them off after a half hour... and does anyone REALLY care what happens to them? I want them to, as I've mentioned in the past. All of my blog entries regarding this topic have been building up to this as I am now starting the first draft of the screenplay.

Of course now that I've covered all the aspects of the slasher film (well, most of them. Some. I think) I'll have to think of something new to talk about next week. I'm sure I can come up with something Slasher related though. See you all then.

Ending the Madness: Chair Jumper or Warm and Fuzzy?

I've finished my outline and as I've been plodding along through the treatment I've been giving some thought to the ending. The slasher movie and of course the horror genre as a whole has surprisingly little variation to the endings. In this case though, that's okay, it's how you get TO the ending that really matters, but of course you don't want to leave people feeling cheated at the end. Here are the most popular ones:

1. "The Chair Jumper"

The chair jumper is the granddaddy of all horror/slasher endings. Just when you think everything is going to be okay... it's not! It's one last over the top scare, which is either followed by a very short concluding scene or the credits. This is the ending that usually leaves the audience talking the most about the movie, mainly because the chair jumper is so completely unexpected that it really gets you.

My personal favorite chair jumper is the ending to Friday the 13th. I know I talk about that series a lot, but come on, it's completely derivative, formulaic and there are ten of them to work with. I'm talking about the original though. Poor Alice Hardy (Adrienne King) has just woken up from the night from hell and the police are pulling up to the lake. One of the policemen spots her and waves when suddenly... Jason jumps out of the lake and pulls her down! Holy crap! Traditionally when the cops come it's over, you're safe. The police give off an air of security so this chair jumper was completely out of the blue and was fantastic.

A few other chair jumpers worth mentioning... the end of The Evil Dead, Phantasm, Friday the 13th Part uh... the one where Mrs. Vorhees jumps out of the lake... and uh... that's about it. That I can think of anyway, here's your chance to leave me some comments.

2. "It's Not Over!"

The 'it's not over' ending implies one thing: sequel. This is a fairly popular ending for the slasher/horror genre simply because horror movies are fairly cheap to produce so they're almost guaranteed to turn a nice profit... which means they need more. Lots more. The endings are intentionally ambiguous, or in some cases, clearly left wide open. I'm talking "if there isn't a sequel I'm going to be pissed" open. Endings such as these are the easiest to do, just remove the last scene and cut to the credits and just like that, you're ready for a sequel. Throw the "alternate ending" on a special edition DVD that comes out six months after the regular one and you've truly gone Hollywood.

My favorite example of this is the ending to Halloween. Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance) comes to the rescue of Laurie Strode (you know who plays her), shoots Michael Myers three thousand times, knocking him out a window... only to have him disappear. Oh no! Is he going to come after Laurie? How did he survive that? What's going to happen now? Was Dr. Loomis shooting blanks? So many credits and only two lines before the credits roll. Thankfully the sequel picked up eight seconds after the original left off. Okay, make that two favorite examples. The end of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Somehow all of Nancy's (Heather Langenkamp) friends have mysteriously returned to life, her mother is fine and it's off to another day of school... when Freddy locks the car and pulls Nancy's mother through the little window on the door. Not so much as a chair jumper as a "it's not over" simply because it seemed a bit fishy from the start of the scene. Very fun though, very fun.

A few more examples of the "It's not over!" are: Evil Dead II, The Ring, Hellraiser, Jason X... uh... geez. I'm off my game today. There are a lot more, I know it, I just need a nap.

3. "How Ironic!"

This is not irony in the literal sense so much as just silly. They're usually ambiguous and are coupled with the "It's not over!" ending because of the situation the lead character ends up in right before the credits roll.

The best example of this is the ending of Evil Dead II. Ash just went through so much crap that it's not even worth going into and then he somehow gets sucked into the portal that was supposed to save him. Briefly mentioned earlier was a passage from the lost pages of the Necrinomicon stating that someone came from the future and was supposed to have contained the evil then... and he's even wearing a blue shirt, just like Ash! Needless to say he ends up back there and goes from being almost killed to being a savior only because of his shotgun. The camera pans back and it's the page from the book! Poor Ash.

I think the only other movies with endings such as these skirt out of the horror genre and go for a little dramatic irony as well. This ending could also be considered the "surprise!" ending as well, but people will find it "ironic." Anything done by M. Night Shaymalan does that. It's the "Hey, you just sat for two hours for the film school 101 ending." It is though, in the first year one of the first assignments is to do a five minute "surprise" ending. Mr. Shaymalan simply expanding all his ideas to two hours. Well, I don't mean to go off on a tangent but... stop doing that.

4. "Whew, we're okay..."

Sometimes the prerequisite of the "Chair jumper" as well as the "How ironic" this ending has the survivors happy that they survived whatever it was trying to kill them. If this is the actual ending it usually has them walking off into the distance with their arms around each other or the cops showing up... or both. Kind of sappy, kind of relieving, but watch out for the bait and switch. Sometimes you think it's okay... but it's not.

A good example of this is every movie where you don't have another type of ending. Friday the 13th II, III, V, VI, VII, VIII, A Nightmare on Elm Street III, IV, V, VI, Child's Play I, II, III, Hellraiser II... mostly sequels. Sequels do this simply because they're not sure if the profit margin will be big enough to do another one so they don't want to leave fans disappointed if they can't muster the cash to make another.

I'm glad the characters are okay and all, but this ending is kind of boring. It's how most movies in general end. Why not have a character say, "Whew, I'm glad that's over with" and have them fall and break their neck. Now that's an ending.

So which do I prefer?

I'm a chair-jumper/it's not over fan myself. One last good scare coupled with the idea that no matter how hard they tried the survivors couldn't stop whatever was trying to kill them. They're a lot of fun and I think they leave the audience with the best impression of the movie due to the fact that when they finally start to relax you play with their emotions one last time. If done right, it's awesome. If cheap and stupid (Scary Movie, though that was intentional) it'll just make you laugh, but you'll remember it. Now back to the treatment and time to work on that ending.

Wait, there's more!

Oh, as an aside I've finally found a new title for "Vengeance" ... it will now be called "perfect ending" (Thanks to help of my perpetual editor SE) The title is worlds apart from Vengeance, which now that I think about it sounds more like an American Gladiator that a movie. The title also has a lot more meaning to the story itself and if you want to know more, send me an e-mail and I'll send the script over.

I've also finally gotten a little extra cash and am going to submit to the Hollywood Lit Sales development service. According to their FAQ, only 5% move on so I've already braced myself for a "pass" rating but it's the constructive criticism that I'm after (though I think it should garner at least a "consider" rating, but I may be biased. I like it. A few other bloggers that have read it liked it.... my mom liked it...). So in four or five weeks I'll talk about how that went. In the meantime, I'll be focusing on my horror movie. See you all next week.