Red Inkworks Words of Encouragement

I entered the Red Inkworks contest in the middle of May and this past weekend I received a nice letter from the head of the contest, Larry Myles. He was actually really impressed with my story and thoroughly enjoyed the screenplay. It feels really great to have that sort of boost; encouragement from someone within the industry.

Here are some excerpts:

"I consider your premise as engaging, and a solid foundation for an entertainment vehicle. I am impressed with your ability to expand a solid premise into a viable story. In the case of SUBURBIA, the story is entertaining, as well as complete. And although there are areas of concern, your story is better than advertised as a cutting edge horror-thriller – as it delivers the goods."

So all those blogs I wrote about what was lacking in slasher/horror films and my lofty goals of actually trying to incorporate character change and deeper plot elements in the story actually helped me. So I've got that going for me.

"The development of your characters plays an integral part in the story and will certainly assist in making the final translation (screenplay) work. I appreciate how you have found success in making the combination of story and characters matter. "

"It is obvious the premise supporting SUBURBIA holds genuine value – evidenced by an abundance of energy, vitality and ‘edge’ found in both story and actions of the characters."

"Clearly, you have invested time and hard work into your story, paying attention to detail. From the lead-in right through to the (rewarding) climax, you are able to draw upon the energy generated from working the tension levels between the controlling idea versus counter idea."

That feels really great to hear. I may have to resubmit to Script P.I.M.P. and see what their thoughts are on all the changes I've made since I submitted my script to them (about 4 versions ago). It may be worth a second shot there, but, of course, not everything is perfect.

"In essence, what I am suggesting is to set aside your marvellous story-telling abilities aside and start thinking as a visualist – showing us your story, rather than attempting to tell us your story."

I can completely understand where he's coming from with this. Instead of showing what a character is thinking through their actions I may just describe their emotional state - which of course doesn't really translate well onto screen. I don't think it's an inability to accomplish that, it's more of an easy way out. Instead of showing how a character is impatient, they're just impatient. Fair enough.

I've since gone through and fixed just about all of those problems. I more or less did a search for the word "look" in my screenplay and then made the line far more dynamic. That solved a lot of the problem right off the bat.

What I do appreciate the most out of everything was the last paragraph:

"What I would like to see you do is address the issues I have raised. Once complete, email me the first six pages of your script. I will be able to sort out if you are practicing economic and visual-only action descriptions. No additional reading fee would be expected or accepted. I only want to make sure you are on the right path when it comes to mastering the craft of screenwriting. "

So it's nice to know that he'll sit down and see that I'm on the right path for fixing my little errors. It's also great to know that my story is solid and that all of my time and effort are paying off in a great screenplay. I also know of another pitfall I need to make myself more aware of when writing, and solve another problem before it even starts.

I'm also curious to see how the new and improved visual style of writing does in comparison to the other style, so I'll be entering a few more contests. I'll pepper my name out there best I can, sooner or later it will fall into the hands of someone looking to make a horror film.